He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
BRING THE BAGELS
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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