Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
