Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
