My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Randomize
