Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
