Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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