i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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