Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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