I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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