so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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