I feel great
I just peed on a car
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
