I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
