watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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