Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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