Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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