Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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