He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
