Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
You need a sexual gate keeper
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Randomize
