I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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