Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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