Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
