And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
