I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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