I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
