the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize