So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I can't put those talents on a resume
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
