you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
