i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
