that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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