just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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