So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
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