if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
