He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
