Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
