I only kidnapped one of them. chill
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
