I cockslap morals
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
