So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Mom said you looked used
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
