you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
