That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize
