I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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