I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize
