if i can run in heels then i can drive
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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