I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
