I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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