I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
