69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
