I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
