I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
