Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
