you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
i need some magic done to my vagina
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Randomize
