I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I just had sex on a roof
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
