I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
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