maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Randomize
