Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
