the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
