Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(818): View more from California

Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?

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(214): View more from Texas

I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process

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(248): View more from Michigan

don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.

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(631): View more from New York

I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.

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(204): View more from Manitoba

you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.

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(480): View more from Arizona

We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.

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(810): View more from Michigan

There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing

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(404): View more from Georgia

I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.

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(858): View more from California

The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear

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