I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
