Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
