he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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