Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
