I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Randomize
