You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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