Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
