He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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