Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
