vagina is talking i cant
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
