i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
